Thursday, December 4, 2014

McDonalds Green Bean Pie

Well this was just GROSS! 
So as you can see, just like in the West we have a number of special limited edition versions of McDonalds Pies out here in Asia. Unfortunately, tastes are quite different here and I would also suggest that the careful testers who have brought us such fantastic delights as the Mighty Ranger Burger and the Hello Kitty Wasabi Chicken Nuggets (with a free Hello Kitty Fairy Tale Doll pictured below) do not eat pies. They have never tried a pie. They have zero interest in pies. Perhaps they all go on holiday every Summer and a bunch of cretinous chimps take over their jobs for a while. Whatever the final explanation is though one thing is for certain, a lot of these pies SUCK so badly that it's hard to imagine they were ever allowed out of the testing kitchen (or science laboratory as may more likely be the case at McDonalds). 
Ok to cheer you up for a moment, before I continue my review of this atrocious product, here is a picture of the full series Fairy Tale of Hello Kitty dolls that came together with the special McNugget Meal Series: 
McDonalds Wasabi Chicken Nuggets and Hello Kitty Dolls
Ok back to the review now... 
Well apart from the terrible flavour of the ill conceived Green Bean Pie one of the other standout bad attributes is the texture. I mean the outer pie shell is just as crispy and yummy as ever, but the filling inside the pie essentially has the texture of booger or perhaps flubber. It is gooey and sticky and slimy and gloopy all at the same time. Then in the middle of all that gluey green gloop there are little dry lumps which are of course the actual green beans themselves, which apparently don't get moist no matter how long you cook them. Now if that's not a terrible combination of textures, I don't know what is. 
Have a look at this glorious picture to get a better idea of how those textures look: 
McDonalds Green Bean Pie Crazy from Kong
The last thing about this product that hits the final nail into the coffin of disgustingness that is Green Bean Pie is the fact that it can't even make up it's mind as to whether it's a sweet or savoury snack. The beans taste undeniably savoury, as do more or less all beans, yet are surrounded by clearly heavily sugared gloop that somehow still isn't exactly sweet. This dish doesn't know what it's supposed to be and the only certain thing about it is it's terribleness. 
Heck even the advertisement for it makes it look pretty atrocious as you can see here: 
China McDonalds Green Bean Pie Weird Asian Products
As if this terrible failure at making something super Asian that I presume was supposed to taste good wasn't enough for the folks at MickeyD's, they actually went on to make other Green Bean disasters like this horrific looking Sundae which I cover in another review: 
Hong Kong McDonalds Green Bean Ice Cream
All in all this was a miserable experience and poor Arne lost all confidence in my ability to select delicious Asian snacks for some months to come.
Check out all our reviews of bizarre Asian snacks, foods and drinks here: Crazy from Kong!
And you can check out my blog here: Spencer Douglass
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